a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
