As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
