I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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