So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
