she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
