Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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