Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
