i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
