You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize