Is it normal to miss your booty call?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There r osticjed everywhere
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
