I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
