I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
