Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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