glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Randomize
