you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
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my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
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Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics