Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
