google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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