as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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