we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize