we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
