Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
