Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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