I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
