is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
