It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
