Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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