if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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