I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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