ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
