i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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