I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize