i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
