Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
