oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
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It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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