You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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