its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
