White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
