I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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