She said her name was "party"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
