i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Houston, we have a blender
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
