There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
