Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
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Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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