when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
