if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
