So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You are the jesus of drinking
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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