Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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