You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
