just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
