Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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