So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
