My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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