I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
