Don't you send me to vm
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
