1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
