yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
