my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
