After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
