Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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