In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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