you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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