you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
