I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize