Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
