Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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