She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
