We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
