Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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